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I asked you why? but you asked me dont to ask such stupid question why? is it the answer for this question was just like what i meant? Do you remember about our deal? Do you remember about every promise that you promised me? I cried once wake up this morning. Only realise that, I hate weekend the most now. why? because, I am too free during the weekend to think about you. because, I will wonder what are you doing over there during your weekend. because, I will get to know that you pass your weekend with her everytime. because, I will think where you are going during the weeked but the one who stay with you is not me anymore... I hate weekend now... and i started to scare... How will my life turn to be after 12th July... after I start my study life again... I pass my 3 years Uni life with you... You are part of it... and now... the 4th year of it... how i going to gone through it? Miss you a lot...>< Take good Care of yourself...

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others always say that, when a girl does not like to bother you... when a girl does not like to stick with you... when a girl does not like to disturb you... when a girl does not like to care you... when a girl does not like to look for you... it means that... she does not love you anymore also already... but... i started to learn not to disturb you... i started to learn not to bother you... i started to learn not to look for you when i am in trouble.. i started to learn not to care more about you... ..... all of these, does not means that i am not loving you anymore... but is because, i know... this is the best way for you... because i still love you, so i let you go away from my life... i dont want to tight you with me... i try to let you go... i started my own life without you over here... does not mean that i dint love anymore... but all is just because i love too much and i know... i wish that i can hug you all the time... i wish that you stil care for me all the while... i wish that nothing gonna change the bond between us... but time passed... thing changed... i changed... and you changed... i change to live without you even i stil love... and you change to do not love anymore...

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try my best to not bothering you, try my best to stand away from you i did, but just cant stop myself to care about you i cant stop myself to review all the memories... she sound so sweet with you she sound dont know anything about us she sound love you so much she post all about you both how about you? why u stil dint admit all the thing? really have to be so secret? why you cant just let me hate you? why you cant just dissapear in my life? you make me hate myself so much!!!

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Moment ago, i just said that i am Happy... but, moment after... you did show me you are not happy with what i asked u again... I dint mean to bother your life, but i just ask what i wish to know... I dint ask about what you doing there too, i just ask what i needed... but nevermind dy, just treat that i never call you... then only i will feel better... just enjoy your life there... and please, take good care of yourself too. you are going to sick, maybe you might need dating and so on... but please... dont make yourself have to date with doctor right after date with her...

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I am happy for this few day. I just hope that, you are not make use of me... I hope that, you did treat me sincerely with your heart... In KL or even back in Penang, I hope that all the time that we had together is true... there is no make use of, or other meaning inside our happiness and enjoy... There are no other reason for you to treat me nicely, talk to me nicely. All is just because of, who you are and who am i... Doesen't because other people or any other things when we are together... even i know that, maybe some of the time you are not thinking of me... but I appreciate what we are having in this few days... Thanks so much... ^^

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finally, 3months had been over. and 3weeks passed. i told myself again and again, i should start my new own life... i did give u a lot of chances, but u dint take any action too. it do hurt me... u said, u did wrong and make mistake again and again... u wasted all the time and chances... does u? or this is ur choice? u have the right to stop urself from doin wrong again and again as u said... but u did nothing... i dont know, what is the exact relation between u and her since the beginning untill now... u dont want to admit, and u just tell me that she is not ur GF at all.... is that true? i try to believe, but do u remember? there is a "lie" inside the "believe".... u both did make call everyday, sms all the while... since u in KL, u did date with her on the weekends... i try my best not to bother u, i try my best to stay away as far as possible from u... n u too... but... i could not delete our story from my memories at all... did u? i wish that the time can be turn back, i hope that we can make a U-turn in our life when we were in a wrong path... but the truth is... we cannot make it... time.. does not stop walking because of anyone... there is no U-turn in anyone's life... u have to move on no matter what is happening... start this moment... what i can do is just make myself confident that u are in a relationship with her... who u care all the while was her, is her and also will be her in the future... we are just friend... just a normal friend who might not talk to each other for a couple of months or years... i am just nothing for u... everytime, i try and i failed... i try again and i failed again... but this time, i cannot fail again... i dint have the right to make myself fail again... i must success.... i must make myself more happier... it is tuff, but i still have to gone through it no matter how i have to move on in my life even u are not around anymore i miss the time that we had gone through all the toughness together, but i just can keep it in the deepest of my heart all the sweet time that we had, all the moment that we share... u leave, u had ur new life, u have ur new partner but i stil stand alone over here to wait for you....

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你的一通来电 冷冷的 冰冰的 没有多余的问候 没有更多的不安或不舍 一点温度都没有 电话挂了 泪流了满面 脸庞的泪也一样冰冷

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我记得我答应过你什么 我记得我说过什么 可是，我才发现原来我办不到 压抑着自己的心情 原来是一件那么艰难的事情 你很忙吗？ 这几年来 我们是第一次 第一次那么多天没有见面 第一次那么久没有联络，没有问候 最久的时候 也只有那么的两次 一次，是当你到北大 还有一次是我到最南部的时候 你记得吗？ 那时候，都不过是一个星期 我们就好想分隔了很久那样 那种思念和爱恋 如今，已经两个星期我们没有见面了 也已经好久，没有好好的聊聊了 你对我，还有那么的一丁点吗？ 还是，你已经把你的心思都放在工作上了？ 还是，你已经把我给忘记了？ 还是，你已经移情别恋了？ 还是，你已经不在乎了？ 我努力的麻醉自己 我努力的把自己搞到很忙 我努力的把时间填满 结果，还是一样 你的影子，你的脸孔，你的一切 关于你的一切，我还在回味着 我还在想着你 真得很想问你 你过得好吗？ 你开心吗？ 可是，我的勇气都不见了 真得很怕 很怕听到你那冷冷的回应 你都懂吗？ 你听到了吗？

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时间过得很快 一个星期又过了 以为自己能够挨过所有 可是，望着你在线上 却始终没有勇气对你开口问好 只是害怕，换来的是又一次的争吵 多少次，真得很想知道你过得好吗？ 可是，结果却是要自己不去在乎你 你过得好吗？ 原来，你是可以没有我的日子的 还记得你说过， 你之前拿捏不定，不要离开的原因是因为 你还有一个牵挂在这个城市 可是，日子一天一天的过 看来，你也并没有放不下这里的一切 只要你过得好，你开心 我就满意了 渐渐的，学着自己生活 饿了，学着自己解决三餐 累了，学着告诉自己是时候休息了，别等了 寂寞了，学着自己承担 想念了，学着找事情做，没事做就发呆 生病了，学着自己照顾自己 最近，天气都时冷时热 你那里呢？ 你还习惯那里的一切吗？ 还开心吗？ 突然，今天想你了 你知道吗？ 以为，我是可以忘记你的 才发现，自己又不自觉地想念你了 祝你快乐

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只能说 谢谢你 谢谢你 再一次的谩骂 是我自找的 还是你就是这样 都足够了 我要做什么，我要如何 你不在关心，你不再在乎，你也不再管了 你只要求我不要乱你 不要过问你的一切 我是谁? 我凭什么质问你？ 你说得没错 我是谁？ 只是个不要脸，死缠烂打的女生 对你而言，我一点都不值钱了 为什么我需要在继续作贱我自己呢？ 只是觉得自己可笑 开始发现， 原来我的坚持都错了 我该放弃了 原来我的相信都错了 我该忘记了 奇迹 是没有了 可是 却带给我知道更多 更多，我以前被爱情蒙蔽的东西 爱情是盲目的 的确。。。

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最后，你还是一句 你不要了 是我笨吗？ 还是我傻？ 我还应该继续等待吗？ 你已经把话说明了 我还能怎样？ 我的梦 我的等待 我的奇迹 完了 全都完了 该结束了吗？ 我能吗？？ 为什么？ 你就不能再给彼此机会？ 真的要那么狠心吗？ 一定要吗？ 我们之间 什么都不剩了 真的吗？ 一点点 都没有了吗？ 事实，总是残酷的

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你说， 要就要，不要就不要 不要再拖拖拉拉 你也说， 你恨我 你讨厌我 你更说， 我们连朋友都不是了 你还说， 说了很多 很伤人的话 我该相信吗？ 还是坚持我的期待？ 我真的希望时间能够倒退 回到从前 那无忧无虑的日子 可以吗？ 让我们都没有改变过 让我们还是最初的那个 好吗？ 祈祷 我的奇迹 会实现。。。 我还在最初的地方 等着你 你知道吗？ 还是你装作看不见，听不见 我告诉你， 我想你了 你却无动于衷 是真的吗？ 还是，你也在压抑着自己？ 你有想我吗？

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还有可能吗？ 还有机会吗？ 都是我误会了吗？ 一次又一次。。。 我已经不知道我应该如何了。。。 从害怕失去，到失去。。。 到如今的不得不失去。。。 我还有选择吗？ 你有了你的新生活，我却一个人呆在这个寂寞的城市 我怀疑自己每天过的是什么生活 我很矛盾，我应该怎样？ 放下。 放下。 这是我每天睡醒告诉自己的第一句话 我已经没有选择了，不是吗？ 我早就应该放下的，不是吗？ 结局，已经发生了 故事，已经完结了 句点，已经浮现了 我还想怎样？ 无论多长的时间，我依旧回不去了 你连自己想要怎样，你都不懂 那，我要用什么借口说服自己坚持下去？ 我很想坚持，真的 我还在期待奇迹 可是，奇迹还会发生吗？